Self
Aim: "Become Who You Are"
Identity isn't discovered - it's constructed. Define who you're becoming.
1 Atomic Habits James Clear Identity-based habits: "become the type of person who..."
2 12 Rules for Life Jordan Peterson The foundational text on aiming, meaning, and becoming
3 Man's Search for Meaning Viktor Frankl Finding purpose through meaning, not happiness
4 Be Your Future Self Now Benjamin Hardy Research-backed approach to future-self psychology
5 From Strength to Strength Arthur Brooks Purpose and meaning in life's second half
Also valuable: Mindset (Dweck), Start With Why (Sinek), The Gap and the Gain (Sullivan)
Act: "Control Your Space"
Your environment shapes your behaviour more than willpower ever will.
1 Extreme Ownership Jocko Willink Complete accountability for your circumstances
2 The Willpower Instinct Kelly McGonigal The science of self-control and how to strengthen it
3 Outlive Peter Attia Physical health as the foundation for everything else
4 Make Your Bed Admiral William McRaven Small disciplines that change everything
5 The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up Marie Kondo Order your physical space, order your mind
Also valuable: Can't Hurt Me (Goggins), Tiny Habits (Fogg), The 7 Habits (Covey)
Adjust: "Stop Lying to Yourself"
Vagueness is where self-deception hides. Name fears precisely.
1 The Scout Mindset Julia Galef Seeing clearly vs. defending what you want to believe
2 Thinking, Fast and Slow Daniel Kahneman Understanding your own cognitive biases
3 Principles Ray Dalio Radical transparency and honest self-assessment
4 Loving What Is Byron Katie The Work: four questions to examine any painful belief
5 Crucial Conversations Patterson et al. Speaking honestly when stakes are high
Also valuable: Daring Greatly (Brown), Nonviolent Communication (Rosenberg), Waking Up (Harris)
Others
Aim: "Choose Your People"
You become the average of your environment. Design your circle intentionally.
1 Friends Robin Dunbar The science of friendship and Dunbar's circles
2 Give and Take Adam Grant Why givers succeed and how to spot takers
3 Never Eat Alone Keith Ferrazzi Intentional relationship building
4 Necessary Endings Henry Cloud When and how to end toxic relationships
5 The Startup of You Reid Hoffman Building networks that create opportunity
Also valuable: The Courage to Be Disliked (Kishimi), Bowling Alone (Putnam)
Act: "Love Others Fiercely"
Love is a verb. Sometimes it looks like confrontation.
1 The Road Less Traveled M. Scott Peck Love as will and action, not just feeling
2 The Art of Loving Erich Fromm Love as an active power requiring discipline
3 Radical Candor Kim Scott Care personally while challenging directly
4 The Go-Giver Bob Burg Success through giving value to others first
5 Thanks for the Feedback Stone & Heen The art of receiving feedback well
Also valuable: How to Win Friends and Influence People (Carnegie), Nonviolent Communication (Rosenberg)
Adjust: "Shut Up and Listen"
You're probably not as good a listener as you think. Most conversations are parallel monologues.
1 Never Split the Difference Chris Voss Tactical empathy from an FBI hostage negotiator
2 Time to Think Nancy Kline People think better when you stop interrupting
3 Humble Inquiry Edgar Schein The gentle art of asking instead of telling
4 The Coaching Habit Michael Bungay Stanier Ask more, tell less - stay curious
5 A More Beautiful Question Warren Berger The power of inquiry and asking better questions
Also valuable: On Dialogue (Bohm), Getting to Yes (Fisher), Think Again (Grant)
World
Aim: "Face Chaos Boldly"
Resistance is a compass. The thing you're avoiding is the thing you need to do.
1 The War of Art Steven Pressfield Facing Resistance and doing the hard creative work
2 The Obstacle Is the Way Ryan Holiday Stoic principles for turning trials into triumphs
3 Antifragile Nassim Taleb How to benefit from chaos and uncertainty
4 Grit Angela Duckworth Passion and perseverance through difficulty
5 Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Susan Jeffers Classic guide to acting despite fear
Also valuable: Emotional Agility (David), Ego Is the Enemy (Holiday), The Flinch (Smith)
Act: "Do Less but Better"
Every yes is a no to something else. Ship something - half-finished projects drain you.
1 Essentialism Greg McKeown The disciplined pursuit of less
2 Deep Work Cal Newport Focus without distraction on what matters
3 Four Thousand Weeks Oliver Burkeman Time is finite - stop optimizing, start choosing
4 The ONE Thing Gary Keller Extraordinary results through singular focus
5 Flow Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi The psychology of optimal experience
Also valuable: Indistractable (Eyal), Make Time (Knapp), Hyperfocus (Bailey)
Adjust: "Chase the sublime"
Most people sleepwalk through beauty. The best opportunities come sideways.
1 Awe Dacher Keltner The new science of everyday wonder
2 The Creative Act Rick Rubin Openness, presence, and creative receptivity
3 How to Change Your Mind Michael Pollan Beginner's mind and openness to altered states
4 The Art of Stillness Pico Iyer Being open to what arrives in silence
5 Enchantment Katherine May Reawakening wonder in a distracted world
Also valuable: Walden (Thoreau), The Book of Delights (Gay), A Pattern Language (Alexander)