Self
Aim: "Aim at Who You Could Be"
Define your future self. Compare yourself to yesterday, not to others.
1 12 Rules for Life Jordan Peterson The foundational text on aiming, meaning, and becoming
2 Be Your Future Self Now Benjamin Hardy Research-backed approach to identity and future-self psychology
3 Atomic Habits James Clear Identity-based habits: "become the type of person who..."
4 Man's Search for Meaning Viktor Frankl Finding purpose through meaning, not happiness
5 From Strength to Strength Arthur Brooks Purpose and meaning in life's second half
Also valuable: Mindset (Dweck), Start With Why (Sinek), The Gap and the Gain (Sullivan)
Act: "Take Responsibility for Yourself"
Body first. Order your space. Own your time.
1 Make Your Bed Admiral William McRaven Small disciplines that change everything — start with the basics
2 The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up Marie Kondo Order your physical space, order your mind
3 Extreme Ownership Jocko Willink Complete accountability for your circumstances
4 The Willpower Instinct Kelly McGonigal The science of self-control and how to strengthen it
5 Outlive Peter Attia Physical health as the foundation for everything else
Also valuable: Can't Hurt Me (Goggins), Tiny Habits (Fogg), The 7 Habits (Covey)
Adjust: "See and Speak Clearly"
Tell the truth. Name fears precisely. Question your own beliefs.
1 Loving What Is Byron Katie The Work: four questions to examine any painful belief
2 Principles Ray Dalio Radical transparency and honest self-assessment
3 The Scout Mindset Julia Galef Seeing clearly vs. defending what you want to believe
4 Thinking, Fast and Slow Daniel Kahneman Understanding your own cognitive biases
5 Crucial Conversations Patterson et al. Speaking honestly when stakes are high
Also valuable: Daring Greatly (Brown), Nonviolent Communication (Rosenberg), Waking Up (Harris)
Others
Aim: "Choose the Right People"
Build your tribe. Find mentors. Cut energy drains.
1 Friends Robin Dunbar The science of friendship and Dunbar's circles
2 Never Eat Alone Keith Ferrazzi Intentional relationship building
3 Give and Take Adam Grant Why givers succeed and how to spot takers
4 Necessary Endings Henry Cloud When and how to end toxic relationships
5 The Startup of You Reid Hoffman Building networks that create opportunity
Also valuable: The Courage to Be Disliked (Kishimi), Bowling Alone (Putnam)
Act: "Love Others Actively"
Love is action. Show up. Give unexpectedly.
1 The Road Less Traveled M. Scott Peck Love as will and action, not just feeling
2 The Art of Loving Erich Fromm Love as an active power requiring discipline
3 The Go-Giver Bob Burg Success through giving value to others first
4 Radical Candor Kim Scott Care personally while challenging directly
5 Thanks for the Feedback Stone & Heen The art of receiving feedback well
Also valuable: How to Win Friends and Influence People (Carnegie), Nonviolent Communication (Rosenberg)
Adjust: "Stay Curious in Conversation"
Listen as if they know something you don't. Seek to understand before being understood.
1 Never Split the Difference Chris Voss Tactical empathy and listening from an FBI negotiator
2 The Coaching Habit Michael Bungay Stanier Ask more, tell less — stay curious
3 Humble Inquiry Edgar Schein The gentle art of asking instead of telling
4 We Need to Talk Celeste Headlee The lost art of conversation
5 A More Beautiful Question Warren Berger The power of inquiry and asking better questions
Also valuable: On Dialogue (Bohm), Getting to Yes (Fisher), Think Again (Grant)
World
Aim: "Face Chaos Boldly"
Run toward the hard thing. The obstacle is the way.
1 The Obstacle Is the Way Ryan Holiday Stoic principles for turning trials into triumphs
2 The War of Art Steven Pressfield Facing Resistance and doing the hard creative work
3 Antifragile Nassim Taleb How to benefit from chaos and uncertainty
4 Grit Angela Duckworth Passion and perseverance through difficulty
5 Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Susan Jeffers Classic guide to acting despite fear
Also valuable: Emotional Agility (David), Ego Is the Enemy (Holiday), The Flinch (Smith)
Act: "Focus on One Thing Intensely"
Do less, but better. Finish things.
1 Deep Work Cal Newport Focus without distraction on what matters
2 Essentialism Greg McKeown The disciplined pursuit of less
3 Four Thousand Weeks Oliver Burkeman Time is finite — stop optimizing, start choosing
4 The ONE Thing Gary Keller Extraordinary results through singular focus
5 Flow Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi The psychology of optimal experience
Also valuable: Indistractable (Eyal), Make Time (Knapp), Hyperfocus (Bailey)
Adjust: "Let in the Unexpected"
Stay open to awe. Follow serendipity. Let wonder realign your aim.
1 Awe Dacher Keltner The new science of everyday wonder
2 The Creative Act Rick Rubin Openness, presence, and creative receptivity
3 How to Change Your Mind Michael Pollan Beginner's mind and openness to altered states
4 The Art of Stillness Pico Iyer Being open to what arrives in silence
5 Enchantment Katherine May Reawakening wonder in a distracted world
Also valuable: Walden (Thoreau), The Book of Delights (Gay), A Pattern Language (Alexander)