Stay curious in conversation
Listening & Dialogue
Conversation is where we understand and negotiate reality with others. It's all attention.
Conversation is where we understand and negotiate reality with others. It’s all attention. Listen as if they have something to teach you. Notice when someone lights up or goes quiet—follow that.
The GROW model is useful here: Goals, Reality, Options, Will. Curiosity seeds better choices later—yours and theirs.
The Core Idea
Most conversations are two monologues waiting their turn. Real dialogue is different: you’re genuinely trying to understand, not just waiting to respond. You’re tracking not just the words but the energy behind them.
Why This Matters
This is the adjustment mechanism for relationships. Just as “see and speak clearly” lets you calibrate yourself against reality, “stay curious in conversation” lets you calibrate your relationships. You discover what others actually think and feel, not what you assume.
The GROW Framework
A simple structure for curious conversation:
- Goals: What are you trying to achieve?
- Reality: What’s actually happening now?
- Options: What could you do?
- Will: What will you do?
Use it to help people think, not to interrogate them.