Choose the right people

If you work through others (and everyone does), aim is inseparable from who. You define the seats before you fill them. Friends, colleagues, partners, mentors—this is a creative act.

It’s easy to neglect this: not keeping up with friends, not tending the relationships around work or creative pursuits. Sometimes it’s fear of showing yourself. But you need people who want the best for you, and you need to be that person for them. Purge the toxic; seek shared aims (even if they’re temporary).

Giving belongs here too—not as a trick for reciprocity but as a way of setting the tone. Unexpected gifts, helpful introductions, generous gestures—they define the field you’re choosing to play on.

The “average of the five people” framing may be overstated, but one thing is certain about mentors: people want to help those who are visibly taking action. Seek them out.

The Core Idea

Relationships aren’t accidents—they’re choices. Most of us inherit our social circles and never examine them. This cell is about being intentional: who do you need around you, and are you being the kind of person others would want around them?

Why This Matters

You become like the people you spend time with. Not through imitation, but through the subtle calibration of what feels normal. Choose people who make growth feel normal.